Children's Children review, Almeida

Glass monkies

The Almeida's latest offering can be summed up as being about a bunch of fools and parasites who feed off each other at different stages of their friendship and then, when it all starts falling apart - which is the full sum of the plot - start shouting at each other. There is so much shouting, this play needs an ASBO.

The fools in this case are TV superstar, Michael, and his lovely wife Louisa. They lend their old friend, Gordon - King Parasite - a quarter of a million in cash. Yes, that's right: £250k. Cash. Gordon says it's to help his daughter, Effie, to whom Michael is a predatory Godfather. Effie has the sexual allure of Carmen - which is fortunate as she gets her kit off quite a bit - but the acting range of an ox on heat. Indeed the whole register of the piece feels a bit farmyard - there's so much pushing, shoving, braying, bleating, crowing and stamping it's a wonder the NFU didn't offer sponsorship. Even the smouldering Darrell D'Silva as Michael - pitted against Trevor Fox's lip-curling, red-faced, whisky-swilling, unreconstructed "northerner" - cannot lift a two note character. Where is the heart of this play?

To add confusion, writer Matthew Dunster has lobbed in reams of proselytising for his younger characters. The title refers to fuel supplies running out within two generations. What is its relevance here?  There's a canter around child labour and a monologue on Shell's pollution of Nigerian habitats that makes Shakespeare feel like haiku. Director, Jeremy Herrin, should have turned these perorations into programme notes with weblinks to The Guardian, Newsweek and National Geographic, and made the writer sharpen story and character.

In conclusion: An unremittingly ponderous couple of hours, occasionally leavened by drunkeness or a witty bit of stomping. Who cares what these horrible, righteous, shouting people, constantly attacking each other, think about anything?

References
Michael Billington review for The Guardian
Charles Spencer review for The Daily Telegraph

Almeida Theatre, Almeida Street, London N1 1TA   This run has now finished.